Saturday, December 20, 2014

TRUST - HOW CAN WE? WHY SHOULD WE?

Life Coach Joe Vulgamore Speaks on Trust
Life Coach Joe Vulgamore Speaks on "Trust"

Life Coach Joe Vulgamore PCP, CBI Discusses Trusting Ourselves and Others...

Wow! Trust is such a huge topic. So many people these days have so little trust in anything. We don't trust other people. We don't trust in processes or systems. We don't trust our spouses, significant others, our parents, friends, or family And people don't trust themselves.

In today's world, people feel they have been burned by other people so often that trust is almost unimaginable for some. In the 1960's, People were fond of saying "Don't trust anyone over 30...". In the 1980's people became fond of the saying "Don't trust anyone.". It seems as if trust is becoming a dying thing. But lets take a look at the definition of trust. 

The Merriam-Webster definition of trust is, "1. belief that someone or something is reliable, good, honest, effective, etc.". 

Is trust really dead? Is it true that you can't trust that something or someone can be reliable, good, honest, effective, etc.? What about trusting yourself? Is that dead too?

As with many things in this world, our lack of trust comes from fear. Fear that we will get hurt if we trust. Usually that fear comes from a past experience that we perceive as bad. If someone grew up in family where the parents were divorced because of trust issues he or she may automatically fear trusting their spouse or significant other. If the mother cheated on the father, the son may grow up having trust problems towards all women and vice versa. A Person may also develop fear of trusting people if he saw someone close suffering because of trust issues. It doesn't matter if that person was the one who was betrayed or if he saw someone else suffering from betrayal because in both cases the the subconscious mind will still consider trusting other people dangerous.

Some of us grew up with false beliefs about trust. Our parents, society, television, friends, and family describe past experiences thinking that they will happen to everyone else and as a result we as children grew up having trust issues. This has placed within us "Limiting Beliefs". 


There is a huge problem with having trust issues that most people fail to realize. We bring to ourselves what we think about most. Your thoughts create what you feel. If you feel you cannot trust anyone, you continue to encounter people or situations that you "can't trust". That's just how it is. When you believe in any idea, your subconscious mind will gather for you all the information, clues, and hints that proves this idea true. Your subconscious will discard important positive events and will focus only on the ones that prove that people are not trust-worthy.

An example would be a girl who thinks that she should never trust a man because men are liars and cheaters, then she will attract and fall in love with a liar who will cheat on her, proving to her that she should not trust men. That’s why some women tend to find themselves in abusive relationships. Because they think that all men are abusers, the Universe will manifest abusive guys to support their beliefs. The same thing happens with our views of our friends, family, and others.

Now with all of that being said, there are definitely people out there, and situations out there that we should stay away from. And when we remove our limiting beliefs about trust, and align with what we truly want, trust-worthy people and situations will begin to show themselves in our lives. 

So how do we remove those limiting beliefs and begin to attract people and situations that can be trusted? It all starts with finding trust in ourselves. So how do we do that? We first begin with learning to trust ourselves. You are the only true constant in your world, even though you are constantly changing and growing, you are always still there. If you cannot trust yourself, then you are behind in the game. How do we catch up? How do we begin to trust ourselves? Here are a few tips...

Steps toward trusting ourselves

1. We must recognize and believe that we control our actions and reactions. They belong to us and no one else. We must escape the "blame-game" and accept responsibility for this truth. Our choices from the past have brought us strength, wisdom, and information. Through these experiences we have the tools to deal with anything.

2. We must learn to hear our inner-voice. We must learn to listen to our intuition and recognize that the little feelings are trying to tell us something.

3. We must nurture ourselves. We must learn to do the things that make us truly happy. We must not allow our fears to keep us in relationships or situations that do not feel good. We must recognize the difference between feeling good and feeling comfortable. Comfort is often a disguise for the fear of change.

4. We must learn to accept the fact that we have the power to walk away. If a person or situation is not right for us, we must accept that we can change it by making changes in ourselves. We can walk away. We can let go of our fears and be at peace with ourselves.

5. Make peace with past events. Freeing yourself from pain and fear of the past will help you develop self-trust. 


Steps toward trusting others

1. Recognize that a "bad" experience does not mean that all following experiences will be bad. It is your perception that determines good or bad. Do not cheat yourself out of a potential fulfilling relationship because of the past.

2. Look for the good things in others. They are there. Don't allow your past experiences to have that much influence on your present. Don't project those past experiences onto new people.

3. Practice Forgiveness. Forgive yourself for your past experiences and forgive others. When you are free of the burden of fear and grudges, you are more aware of yourself. You can hear the inner-voice.

4. Transcend your fears. Fear is the mind killer. Learn to release the negative aspects of fear and embrace the positive aspects.

5. Give it time. Trust in others will be easier once you trust yourself. Trust takes time to grow. Trust between people is a creation. So give it and yourself time.


When you achieve trust in yourself, it will foster trust in others. That alignment will bring you trustworthy people and events. But it all begins with you.



Happy Aligning!



He is a Life Coach, practitioner of the Law Of Attraction, and a Certified Basic Instructor (CBI) who has trained with and worked hand-in-hand with mental health practitioners while employed with the State of Texas. Joe is also a member of the International Association of Professional Life Coaches (IAPLC).





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