Sunday, December 7, 2014


Life Coach Joe Vulgamore Speaks on Negative People
Life Coach Joe Vulgamore Discusses Transcending Negative People...

Have you ever noticed how you can be engaged in conversation with a friend or two, laughing, talking, and having a good time; your vibe is very positive basking in the joy of the energy of your friends and then, out of nowhere, another person enters the conversation and the vibe suddenly changes? The new person to the conversation begins to speak ill of his or her job, family, mutual friends, love-life, or something else that brings a dark cloud to your bright and sunny day? The next thing you know, the entire group of people are engaging in rumors, slander, and total drama. There is always one in every crowd.

Have you ever wondered why this happens? 

Another example might be the friend who always call you on the phone to use you as a sounding board for all of their problems. Because you try to be a good friend, you listen and try to offer advice, but by the end of the conversation your emotional level is low. You are tired and drained and just want to hang up on them. These types of people suck the life right out of you. The next thing you know, you are worried about your own issues, begin to question the very things in your own life that you were advising your friend against. You have become polarized. 

Have you ever avoided going somewhere or avoided doing something fun because you know that the "Negative Nancy" will be there? Did you go anyway, in hopes that maybe it would be different this time, or did you deprive yourself of a good time because you didn't want to be brought down to a lower level of vibration?

How do you deal with these types of people? How do you transcend when it comes to "Negative Nancy's"?

There are several steps you can take to transcend negative people. The most obvious answer is to walk away and remove yourself from the situation. But that is not always possible in social situations, in the workplace, or when visiting family.

Here are some tips for transcending.

1. Be responsible for your reactions

Whether the person is negative or not, ultimately you’re the one who is perceiving the person as negative. Take a look at your reactions. Watch yourself from the outside. Make sure you are not just mirroring your own inner feelings about the particular person. For every trait, you can interpret it in a positive and a negative manner. YOU decide how YOU will react.

2. Stick to light topics or change the subject

The negativity of some people is triggered by certain topics. When you feel the polarity shift from positive to negative during a conversation, try to change the subject or insert humor. Laughter can shift polarity back to positive very quickly.

3. Ignore the negative comments

Ignore the negative comments. If he/she goes into a negative place, ignore the comment or topic, or give a simple “I see” or “Okay” reply. Do this often enough and soon the person will get the point. Hopefully, the person will adjust to be more positive.

4. Don’t get into an argument

One of the most important things to remember is to avoid a debate with a negative person. A negative person likely to have very negative views and isn't going to change that just because of what you said. Whatever you say, this person can find ten different ways to back up their viewpoint. The discussion will just escalate into more negativity and pull you down in the process. 

5. Reduce contact and/or avoid them

If all else fails, reduce contact with them or avoid them altogether. If it’s a good friend, let him/her know of the severity of the issue and work it out where possible. It’s not healthy to spend too much time with people who drain you. Your time is precious, so spend it with people who have positive effects on you.

No matter how you handle the situation, you must immediately make an effort to shift your own feelings back to positive. If you let the negativity of the person set in to you, your vibration lowers and the gap between "Who you are" and your "Perfect Self" widens and you become in danger of attracting even more negativity or unhappy thoughts.

Happy Aligning!

He is a Life Coach, practitioner of the Law Of Attraction, and a Certified Basic Instructor (CBI) who has trained with and worked hand-in-hand with mental health practitioners while employed with the State of Texas. Joe is also a member of the International Association of Professional Life Coaches (IAPLC).

Portions of this article are excerpted from Joe's book "Alignment - Law of Attraction and the Seven Universal Laws"

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