Thursday, December 4, 2014


Life Coach Joe Vulgamore Speaks on Negative Thinking

Keeping Negative Thoughts at Bay...

As human beings, from time to time we all have a thought that pops into our head that we assign a negative feeling toward. We have thoughts of worry, disappointment, discouragement, fear, and a wide range of other seemingly "negative" emotions associated with such thoughts. 

Many times these thoughts come from current and ongoing circumstances that we have attracted into our lives. Sometimes these thoughts come from our perceptions that we have developed as a result of societal standards. Other times these thoughts are buried deep inside of us as a result of some kind of trauma. And sometimes these thoughts come from lack of confidence in our own abilities. No matter where these thoughts come from within us, at times they can be completely and totally overwhelming. They can cause us to feel pain, anguish, depression, and fear... which in turn, will attract more of those same feelings to us, and we also unknowingly broadcast those feelings outward to others.  

So how do we head them off? How do we arrest these thoughts and feelings before they attract more of the things we deem as "bad"? First we must realize that we have a choice on how we are going to feel. When we wake up in the morning, within the first 30 seconds of being awake, we subconsciously decide how our day is going to go. We decide, by our first thoughts and feelings if we are going to be happy, or if we are going to be sad. WE DECIDE, not outside influences, not other people. If it is hard for you to be happy, it is because you have let feeling sad become a habit... but nonetheless, we still allow sadness from time to time.

When thoughts are positive, we can rejoice. When they are negative, we are concerned with what we do about them. What we must do is to neutralize the "negative" thoughts and feelings to render them harmless and incapable of attracting anything that could hurt us.  Neutralizing the negatives and using that energy to empower us is the key to changing our circumstances.

If we struggle to confront negative thoughts and feelings when we are not prepared to do so, we become frustrated, angry, depressed, or whatever. If you fight these feelings before you are ready, it is like swimming upstream in a river against the current. You will eventually tire out and drown.

My technique for neutralizing the effect of "negative" emotions before I am ready to confront them is to consciously shift my thoughts to something I feel neutral toward. If you try to reach for an emotion that is too far from your grasp, you run the risk of bringing on more frustration. Neutral is the place in between feeling good and feeling bad, and is much easier to reach in the heat of the moment. 

I do this in steps that I will outline here...

1. Dust Off - Dust yourself with hands diagonally across the body from finger tips, down arms, down legs and torso, and then throw all “bad” energy on the floor to get rid of it. Visualize this as if you are dusting yourself off after getting dirty... in effect, you have become "dirty" with the negative vibe and sometimes a physical action helps.

2. Visualize - Bring to mind something that you have no resistance toward. Bring to mind something that you have no feelings about whatsoever. I tend to visualize building a fence. I am totally neutral to building a fence. I have no feelings about it at all, one way or the other. One thing visualizing this does for me is somewhere in my conscious mind, it allows me to "fence in" the negative emotion and keep it corralled until a time I am ready to deal with it. You may try this yourself, or find something else. Just make sure you are completely indifferent to the visualization.

3. Counting Games - Sometimes if I have trouble visualizing the fence to shift my thoughts, I attempt to count to 500 by sevens... i.e. 7, 14, 21, 28, 35, etc. This gets difficult and forces you to think about it. After a while, when you are counting on your fingers you are no longer thinking about the negative emotion.

4. Mindfulness - Perhaps I should have put this one first, but I also try to stay mindful. That means keeping my thoughts focused on where I am and what I am doing in that moment. I stay mindful of what is happening around my physical presence in that moment... what sounds am I hearing? What colors am I seeing? What aromas do I smell? How does the shirt I'm wearing feel on my skin? Practicing Mindfulness is a perfect way to bring yourself back to the present and focus your attention on what's important in that moment. 

Methods for neutralizing can vary from person to person. There is no right or wrong way to do it, as long as you are able to stop dwelling on the negative feeling, whatever works is good. Don't be afraid to experiment. You may just find that the attempt to find something you are neutral toward will take your mind off of your problem.

Once you neutralize the unwanted feelings, then you can refocus on your task at hand and come to terms with the emotion when you are stronger and it feels good to do so.

Stay Zen!

Joe Vulgamore PCP CBI is author of the Best-selling book "Alignment- Law of Attraction and the Seven Universal Laws" and "Powerful Powerful You - Understanding Your Power". He is a Life Coach, Hypnotherapist, and Holistic Healer. For almost 30 years, Joe has helped thousands of people from over 14 countries, across 5 continents, to make life-transformations through one-to-one coaching and workshops.

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