Thursday, December 11, 2014

DO YOUR HABITS HOLD YOU BACK?

Life Coach Joe Vulgamore Speaks on Habits

Life Coach Joe Vulgamore PCP, CBI Discusses Building Better Habits for a Better Life

Human beings are creatures of habit. It is true. We all have habits in one form or another... some are good, healthy, and positive; some habits are bad, unhealthy, and negative. We get very comfortable in doing things the same way every day. We usually stick to a daily routine without having to think about it. Think about it for a moment. Chances are when you drive home from work you tend to take the same route every time. Or when you leave your home to go to the grocery store, you take the same route. Think about this… each morning your senses plug you into the same reality and start the same stream of consciousness. We remain plugged into this past self by following a routine, unconscious set of automatic behaviors. For example, you probably wake up on the same side of the bed, slip into your robe the same way as always, look into the mirror to remember who you are, and shower, following an automatic routine.

Our thoughts and feelings work the same way. Many people wake up in the morning and their moods and feelings fall into an automatic routine of negativity. Some people have chosen to be grumpy and down for so long that it sets in and creates a life that keeps them grumpy and down. Here is one example...

Let's say that person works a job in customer service. This person wakes up in the morning and the first thought in his/her mind is that "I will have to deal with unhappy customers all day." As the person goes through their personal hygiene routine, breakfast routine, and gets dressed for work; the feeling of dread and thought of "I will have to deal with unhappy customers all day." persists. This thought persists during the commute to work and the feeling of dread intensifies as time for work draws closer. When this person arrives at work, the first customer that the person interacts with is loud, belligerent, and rude. No matter how hard the person tries, he/she can't seem to please the customer. The customer finally leaves in a "huff" and threatens to call management and complain. The person thinks to himself/herself, "Wow. I knew it was gonna be one of those days."

In this example, the persons thoughts were unpleasant from the time of waking until it manifested as truth. This persons thoughts, feelings, and attitude attracted the behavior from the customer. This person chooses each and every day how to feel about life. This person chooses each and everyday that this is how life is and will always be. Does this sound like you? Have you ever wondered why your life isn't changing for the better? Why are you secretly expecting something different to show up in your life, when you think the same thoughts, perform the same actions, and experience the same emotions every single day? Is that not the definition of insanity?

All of us have fallen prey to this type of limited life, one time or another. By now, you understand the reason why. Therefore, if you keep thinking the same thoughts, doing the same things and feeling the same emotions, you hardwire your brain into a definition of your finite reality. Consequently, it becomes easier and more natural for you to reproduce the same mind on a moment-to-moment basis. This innocent response cycle causes your brain and then your mind to reinforce even further that this is your particular reality.

When you think from your past memories, you can only create past experiences. As all the “knowns” in your life cause your brain to think and feel in familiar ways, thus creating knowable outcomes, you continually reaffirm your life as you know it. If it is hard for you to be happy, it is because you have let feeling sad become a habit.

So how do we break out of our current reality and create one that we want?

We do this first, by making a conscious decision, a choice, to alter the events in our lives by abandoning our old ways of thinking... abandoning those old habits. Then we set our intentions to create new and better habits. We choose to stop living by default and make conscious choices. When our behaviors match our intentions, when our actions are equal to our thoughts, when our minds, our words, and our deeds are aligned…there is an immense power behind any individual.

By creating better habits for ourselves, we take a lot of the guesswork out of how we want to live our lives. We stop worrying if we are "doing everything right" and we stop worrying about going back on auto-pilot... because we then know that if we do fall into auto-pilot, our habits are still creating the life we want.

Below are a few steps to help you begin to create new habits that will contribute to your confidence, happiness, and success...

Take small action steps toward the big goal - Your goals should be the big picture that you wish to someday accomplish, but smaller action steps, are the minimum amounts of work that you must get done every single day to make the bigger goal a reality. Action Steps make each day approachable, and your goals become believable and achievable.

Avoid setting a time line on the new habit - One of the big habit myths is this belief that it only takes 21 days to form any habit. The actual length of time it takes to form a new habit (or break an old one) depends largely on the habit, the individual, and the level of commitment. Do you honestly think you can create habits just by trying to reach some imaginary number of days where the habit will supposedly stay for life? No. The goal of creating habits is to create long-lasting behavioral changes that move you towards big goals.

Recognize breakdowns - If you don't know where your breakdowns are, or if you are unprepared for the inevitable obstacles, you will set yourself up for failure. In moments of weakness and vulnerability, we need support or a release for our frustrations. Reaching for alcohol, drugs, over-eating, or over-medicating is not the answer. If an unpleasant incident takes place you have to find a viable alternative to dealing with it. We all have bad days, but we need not resort to unhealthy habits to alleviate the stress. To develop good habits, we cannot let boredom, anger, fear, or anxiety be triggers. Recognizing this early is important to staying on the wagon.

Happiness is a choice, confidence is a choice, success is a choice... like it or not, you choose how your life will be each and every day. Making confidence, happiness, and success into habits make the journey easier. Do yourself a favor and build some new healthy and positive habits.


Happy Aligning!


Joe Vulgamore PCP, CBI is author of the self-help book "Alignment - Law of Attraction and the Seven Universal Laws"
He is a Life Coach, practitioner of the Law Of Attraction, and a Certified Basic Instructor (CBI) who has trained with and worked hand-in-hand with mental health practitioners while employed with the State of Texas. Joe is also a member of the International Association of Professional Life Coaches (IAPLC).

Portions of this article are excerpted from Joe's book "Alignment - Law of Attraction and the Seven Universal Laws"



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